remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
