Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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