Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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