Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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