Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
