Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize