My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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