hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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