when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
