Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
