I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
