youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
