TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
