Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
