Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
