I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
