Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
