...so i touched it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
