I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
