i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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