dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
