After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize