ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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