There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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