You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
