finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
