your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
