worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hippo gnu deer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
