i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
