it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
