Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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