What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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