so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize