Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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