O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
