i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
