remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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