This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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