i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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