Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
