my sisters under your porch take her home
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
