I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize