And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Randomize