she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hippo gnu deer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
