she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
