she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
