he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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