My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
