This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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