we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
