My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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