...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize