ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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