wrigley field is MILF paradise
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
