True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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