i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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