the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
