why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You are the jesus of drinking
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize