if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
