He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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