ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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