So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
