he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
