it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
