I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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