erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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