Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
