just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
